Dr. Gearheart’s S.A.F.E.T.B.O.C.K.S. Tee

$30.00
Dr. Gearheart’s S.A.F.E.T.B.O.C.K.S. Tee - Official Defenders of Zzzodd Merch
“Ahem. Attention, future purchasers of wearable torso‑fabric. It has come to my attention that the marketing department insists I ‘describe’ this shirt. Ridiculous! The shirt clearly describes itself. It features ME: Dr. Ferdinand Gearheart III inside my state‑of‑the‑art S.A.F.E.T.B.O.C.K.S.
The artwork captures me in peak operational condition: goggles calibrated, consoles blinking, escape hatch clearly labeled ‘DO NOT USE’ because certain individuals cannot follow simple instructions. Nuts, DROP that hyper‑charged entropy marble! It’s not edible, and don’t you dare give me that ‘but what if’ look! I cannot believe I have to parent a metal squirrel today.
If you wear this shirt, you are making a statement. Specifically, the statement: ‘I respect science, but I also enjoy chaos.’ Excellent choice.
In conclusion, buy the shirt. Support scientific advancement. And for the love of all that is calibrated, DO NOT TOUCH the third switch on the left.”
Dr. Ferdinand Gearheart III, Mad Scientist, Genius, Everyday Hazard

Why fans love this dangerously delightful tee:
• Features Dr. Gearheart in full “I absolutely void warranties” glory
• Perfect for science lovers, chaos enthusiasts, and anyone who respects a man in a white lab coat
• Soft, comfy fabric ideal for experiments, adventures, or panicked note‑taking
• A wearable tribute to the Zzzoddverse’s most brilliant, most oblivious inventor
• Guaranteed to make people ask, “Why does that box have legs?”

SEO‑friendly goodness (for the search gremlins)
Dr. Gearheart T‑shirt, mad scientist merch, S.A.F.E.T.B.O.C.K.S. shirt, Defenders of Zzzodd apparel, funny science tee, quirky inventor shirt, fantasy book merchandise, Influenced Chaos Publications merch, chaotic scientist design.


• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz./yd.² (142 g/m²)
• Pre-shrunk fabric
• Side-seamed construction
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Blank product sourced from Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US

Disclaimer: The fabric is slightly sheer and may appear see-through, especially in lighter colors or under certain lighting conditions.

This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!
Color:
Size:
Dr. Gearheart’s S.A.F.E.T.B.O.C.K.S. Tee - Official Defenders of Zzzodd Merch
“Ahem. Attention, future purchasers of wearable torso‑fabric. It has come to my attention that the marketing department insists I ‘describe’ this shirt. Ridiculous! The shirt clearly describes itself. It features ME: Dr. Ferdinand Gearheart III inside my state‑of‑the‑art S.A.F.E.T.B.O.C.K.S.
The artwork captures me in peak operational condition: goggles calibrated, consoles blinking, escape hatch clearly labeled ‘DO NOT USE’ because certain individuals cannot follow simple instructions. Nuts, DROP that hyper‑charged entropy marble! It’s not edible, and don’t you dare give me that ‘but what if’ look! I cannot believe I have to parent a metal squirrel today.
If you wear this shirt, you are making a statement. Specifically, the statement: ‘I respect science, but I also enjoy chaos.’ Excellent choice.
In conclusion, buy the shirt. Support scientific advancement. And for the love of all that is calibrated, DO NOT TOUCH the third switch on the left.”
Dr. Ferdinand Gearheart III, Mad Scientist, Genius, Everyday Hazard

Why fans love this dangerously delightful tee:
• Features Dr. Gearheart in full “I absolutely void warranties” glory
• Perfect for science lovers, chaos enthusiasts, and anyone who respects a man in a white lab coat
• Soft, comfy fabric ideal for experiments, adventures, or panicked note‑taking
• A wearable tribute to the Zzzoddverse’s most brilliant, most oblivious inventor
• Guaranteed to make people ask, “Why does that box have legs?”

SEO‑friendly goodness (for the search gremlins)
Dr. Gearheart T‑shirt, mad scientist merch, S.A.F.E.T.B.O.C.K.S. shirt, Defenders of Zzzodd apparel, funny science tee, quirky inventor shirt, fantasy book merchandise, Influenced Chaos Publications merch, chaotic scientist design.


• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz./yd.² (142 g/m²)
• Pre-shrunk fabric
• Side-seamed construction
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Blank product sourced from Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US

Disclaimer: The fabric is slightly sheer and may appear see-through, especially in lighter colors or under certain lighting conditions.

This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!