Zzzoddian Lore: Plastimals
The “Do Not Pet Me” Champions of Zzzodd
Plastimals come in every shape, size, and color imaginable. If it looks like an animal and made of plastic, rubber, crystal, or some mysterious polymer that definitely wasn’t safety‑tested… congratulations, you’ve met a Plastimal. Rubber chickens? Plastimals. Plastic kittens? Plastimals. A translucent dragon that glows in the dark and smells faintly like blueberries? Also, a Plastimal. Their one unifying trait: they walk like animals, some even talk like animals, and they all look like animals but absolutely hate being treated like animals. More on that later…
Where They Come From
Every Plastimal can trace their roots back to one of three places: The Candy Rainforest, where everything is edible, but nothing is safe. The Seven Desserts of Crème Brûlée (Yes, desserts, not deserts. Bring a spoon.) and The Wilds, the “we don’t talk about what lives in there” part of Zzzodd.
Some Plastimals claim they come from the Endless, the frozen homeland of the Stuffies. This is adorable, but also completely false. Plastimals freeze faster than a popsicle in a snowstorm. The Endless would eat them for breakfast.
The Civilized
These are the ones who decided, “You know what? I like plumbing.” They live in cities, hold jobs, and occasionally form wildly successful acapella metal bands like The Purple Chinchillas, a group known for their Rammstein renditions and city-sized mosh pits.
The Wild
These Plastimals prefer the old ways: pack life, open skies, and absolutely no HOA fees. They live in Plastimal‑only compounds on the outskirts of civilization, where the rules are simple: Respect the pack. Follow the alpha. Don’t eat the mail carrier
The Pack Laws
Inside a pack, civilized or not, Plastimals follow a strict hierarchy. The alpha decides everything: Who joins, who marries, who works where, who gets the last cookie.
Some packs have been known to be xenophobic, remaining exclusive and only allowing direct family membership. Others are ethics‑based, welcoming any Plastimal who shares their values. Even more cutting edge though, are the packs that have broken from tradition in recent years, allowing non-Plastimal membership, and in rarer instances, family rights. These are considered bold, progressive, and slightly terrifying.
But no matter the pack, one rule is universal: Family is everything, and anyone who threatens the family will be dealt with quickly, efficiently, and with the kind of teamwork that makes Action Figures jealous. No Toy with sense crosses a Plastimal pack.
The Solitary Instinct
Outside the pack, Plastimals are… polite. Mostly. They’re cordial, professional, and maintain a personal bubble the size of a small moon. They don’t do small talk. They don’t do surprise hugs, and they definitely don’t do petting.
The #1 rule of Plastimal etiquette:
Do. Not. Pet. Me.
Seriously. Don’t.
Earning a Plastimal’s friendship is a long, winding journey. They do not trust easily. They do not forgive quickly. Their loyalty, once given, is a fierce shed on your favorite jacket possessive, sometimes overwhelming, always absolute. It’s a lifelong bond, not easily broken. Just… still don’t pet them.
A Plastimal friend will stand beside you until the end of your story.
A Plastimal packmate will stand beside you until the end of theirs.